The stars died so you could be here today

So, the other day I ended up having a really bad panic and black things falling off the ceiling attack and had to get my dad to come over and take me back home and I took my meds. Once again feeling that if I go to pieces after missing just two days then how the Hell am I ever going to come off them for good.

I have my first appointment with the new psych on Friday and I'm ridiculously anxious about the whole thing.I have so much shit to try and explain and I'm sure the fact that it's someone I don't know will make me completely unable to say what I want/need to. I can't even make sense of it to myself...

I've been out with friends the last two nights and I'm fucking exhausted. Simple things like that really shouldn't be so much hard work and the fact that it is fustrates the Hell out of me!