Keep holding on

I don't know what to do
I'm a mess
I went to London with some friends a radio gig
I was waiting for them and this guy was lurking
I assumed it was just my hypersensitivty
So I ignored it
And then ater fifteen minutes he came over and started asking me if I had a boyfriend and all that hit trying to get me alone
I tried to get safe
Go to Starbucks
The met my friends
Forgot about it
And now I'm on my own again I can't stop crying and shaking
Flashbacks and seeing shit and panic
I have so much planned for the summer
So much to look forward to
But when it's quiet the noise in my head is just too much
I never feel safe from people
I miss self-harming
Drinking
Pills
I just don't know how to cope
How to keep it together
I feel completely isolated after seeing that psych
Like I'm completely worthless of help
Like my problems are nothing
I am so despeately fighting to be healthy
But it's not enough
Giving in would be such a release...