Not so innocent

"I guess I think I'm okay,

walked into the door again.
If you ask that's what i'll say,
And it's not your business anyway."
- Luca by Suzanne Vega

The case about the ten/eleven year olds attempting to rape an eight year old is sturring up way too many fucking memoires and feelings. When people say it's all a big overreaction I start to question every fucking feeling inside me. It's not as bad as murder is it? And kids can't sexually abuse other kids, right?

It may be easier for the world to think that it doesn't go on, that children are innocent and merely experimenting but they're wrong. It should be taken seriously because the consequences on the victim are so much more severe than the consequences of murder. Rape and sexual assault is a way of killing someone without them actually dying. If someone murders you, you're dead, if someone rapes you, you have to life with that every fucking day for the rest of your life. It is worse than murder. It's not a crime of passion or misunderstanding, it is someone setting out to control and degrade another person in the worst way possible. Children of all ages know the meaning of the word NO. Sure, kids play 'doctors and nurses' all the time, but they tend to do it in their bedrooms with their parents downstairs, they don't take a playmate out into an isolated field.

Right now, I'm trying to work through my own shit, the aftermath of an abusive relationship at the age of sixteen/seventeen, but this case is bringing up so much more than that. So many years of being dominated and forced by 'innocent little boys' into stuff I'll probably never talk about because I am that ashamed.

I can't cope with this shit. I just can't fucking cope...