Coz you're boring baby when you're straight

Dissociation has become a problem. If it is that. I don't know. Maybe I'm just fucked. Maybe I'm just being stupid. Weak. The constant thought and fear that I'm dreaming everything. That I don't exist. My life is a movie. People around me are actors. I haven't looked in the mirror for a few days. I'm scared that my reflection won't be the same. I find it so hard to explain. I feel childish. Trying to escape reality. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know how to make it stop. I try to get back in touch in with myself. Look at photos of me with people. Pinch myself. Count words. Repeat words. Check doors and plug sockets. But it just comes back.