Ok, yesturday I started the ABC diet, 500cals or less (only problem is that I never eat that much even when I'm not trying to lose weight). So this is quite strange, being on a diet that makes me eat more than i normally would. Still working out, despite the sore muscles... sore muscles are a good thing. Cleaning alot, making more excuses in my head to go to the shop, drinking more water everyday.
Looking and not looking foward to Thursday. I'm happy for it because I'm seeing my friends Stacey and Kim, and not happy because we're getting drunk, which (don't get me wrong) is great, and fun and good for me because I don't leave the house enough. But just thinking of the calories is going to kill me! Maybe I'll fast the next day to feel better, I don't know. All I do know is that I want to enjoy the sun while it's here. Maybe I'll buy some ice-pops, I hear they shrink your stomach... not sure if I believe that though, I know that ice burns calories, so yeah, I'll do that.
On more of an emotional note, everything is hell. My mums boyfriend is here, I hate it when he's here, everytime I walk into a room she calls me a name or tells me to fuck off and she always shouts at me, and I don't even know why. When I ask her what I've done wrong she normally just says "It's because you're a horrible bitch!". She'll probably be drinking again today... she has been for about 5days straight now, which isn't too bad I guess, she's been hell of a lot worse in the past. I just wish she wasn't so abusive. I hate feeling so lonely all the time, I cry at least once a day, normally more than once tough, if i didn't drink so much water I would probably run out of tears. I know that having and ED is lonely anyway, and she doesn't help. But at least I know that here I'm not alone, not when I see people who feel the same everyday. It's nice, and I never would've found any of you wonderful people if it wasn't for ana. Now how can anyone say ana is bad? I love her. xxx
Sorry if I missed anything. here's some thinspo, I know i need it, and I'm sure some of you do too.
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