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Monday, January 4, 2010

Why We Teach

Everyone has heard a story of about a doctor who became a doctor because their mother died of Cancer, or a social worker who went into that field because they didn't want others to experience the same hardships, or the man who became a warrior to try to protect peace.
Most of ones life is spent trying to solve problems with the hope of passing the answers to subsequent generations.
Why spend a lifetime acquiring solutions only to have this knowledge lost to subsequent generations?

But are some answers unteachable?
Are some answers to be learned through experience only?

As with my younger half-brothers, half of my childhood was spent under extremely undesirable circumstances.
But I always had an out - I could always call my paternal grandparents for a life of ease.
But this was not really an option.
"I" was an older brother - with all the responsibilities that go along with being such.
How could I enjoy my life when my own brothers were suffering?
I had to suffer to ease the load that my brothers would bear.
I had to be Prometheus.

Was this thinking taught or was it inherent?
Maybe it was birth order, maybe it was genetics, maybe it was religion - I have no idea.
But being the older brother shaped my thinking in how I should go about life.
It seems that my role in most situations is that of being the answer man.
The responsible one.
The one who should show/know no fear and be able to handle any situation.
But were these traits learned from my familial position?
Were my brothers predisposed to prison and crime by genetics (their father was an undereducated drug addict), or could they be taught how to overcome their situation?

My step-father was not my example.
Even though my father died when I was one - I knew that my genetics were sound.
I knew that this apple could fall far from the tree of my step-father's examples.
I knew that I was not him.
But did my brothers assume that they were him?
Did they learn crime - or were they born to it?

But another problem could be that I took too much of the heat.
Was my being Cinderella an excuse for my brothers not to adapt to their environment?
Was my help doing more harm than good?
Maybe they would have had to be more responsible if I hadn't been around.
Maybe they would have been better off if I would have gone my own way and left them to theirs.
Maybe my help robbed them of the foundation of character required to build upon success.
Maybe I was just prolonging their adolescences.
My brothers lived a life of comfort and ease.
My brothers had a life in a neighborhood better than most of the country.
My brothers had all the goods and resources that come with suburbia but neither did any good with them.

This is best seen in poor countries, towns, neighborhoods and people.
If poor countries keep getting aid - they will fail to develop any foundation or any incentive to be self sufficient.
If poor towns always receive aid - there is no incentive to do for themselves.
If poor people always get aid - they have no need of learning skills and keeping jobs.
If we keep doing for others what many could do for themselves - are we really doing any good at all?
If we keep giving the rewards of success to people who haven't succeeded - why should they even bother to do or be better?

This past Christmas I dropped by the homes of many people whom others would assume poor.
Many of these people had made the food circuit and collected food from the local churches.
Many families had so much food that it would spoil before they would have a chance to use it.
Many families just threw out the food from their Thanksgiving run and replaced it with the new food from their Christmas run.
Many families threw food out saying, "I don't eat that ish."
(If these beggars can be choosers - they really don't need this much help.)
I'm disgusted - these poor people are not really poor.

When I feel like it, I do a lot of remodels on homes.
Most of the people buy new flat screen televisions and offer their old 27' or 35' models to me.
(I have four 35' and seven 27' TVs in my storage unit.)
I tried to give a family a 35' three year old set to replace their older 19' set.
But this was not good enough for this family.
They questioned why I didn't give them a bigger LCD flat panel set.
Really?
Have some people become so accustomed to everything being given to them that they can pick and choose what to accept?

I've escaped poverty - three times.
The lessons I've learned can be learned by anyone.
Or am I just different?
Am I just blessed?
Or lucky?
Or is it fate?
But fate cannot be taught.
Luck cannot be taught.
Being blessed cannot be taught. (Although the actions, mentality and humility required to receive such blessings can.)
So we have faith that we can teach others what we have learned.
But this may be a case of something which cannot be taught - only learned.

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