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Friday, March 6, 2009

"X" Marks The Spot

"X" is where most of us want to be.
"X" represents everything that is good.
"X" is where everyone is judged by his character,
or the work he's done,
or the righting of wrongs,
or the relationships made.

The road to "X" varies, based on one's starting point.
Most people want a good life with a nice home, a stable job, good schools, safe streets and respect from (and to) others.
Most people don't want to rely on handouts.
Most people want to do well for themselves.

But while our desired destination may be the same - our roads traveled, people met, life experiences and influences will almost always be different.

Personally speaking, race doesn't matter.
Why?
Because I've seen the best and the worst from many people.
I've been hated on by neighbors and taken in by strangers.
But I've also been threatened by strangers and protected by those close to me.
Different situations seem to have different variables.
I can't jump on the "Hate YT" band-wagon.

Early in life, I was separated from the "other" Blacks and placed in advanced classes at school.
When I was eight, we move from the Eastside ('hood area) to Canyon Crest (thought of as a "white" area). When I was fourteen, we moved back to a bad apartment complex in the 'hood. When I was seventeen, we moved back to the "white" area.
When we moved to the "white" part of town, my parents put a pool in the backyard. Since we had a pool, we needed swimming lessons. Swimming lessons led to swim teams.

So, separated by neighborhoods, classrooms and the sport of choice, many Blacks thought that I was "acting white".
The funny thing is, many of those who thought this of me, earlier, now live in the same area where they thought only whites (or rich people) lived.
When I go back home to visit, these same people are some of those who I'll go to lunch with.
Their perception of what is "white" and what is "Black" has changed based on their experiences.
Most of their children live the lifestyle that they hated-on earlier in their lives.
Beef, BW and Kel all remarked that they used to think that everyone who lived in a certain area, spoke a certain way or had certain interests had lost touch with their Blackness.
Now they see that it's just a different level of Blackness.

One of my best friends used to think that I would separate my Black friends from my white.
But this wasn't the case.
Most of them knew of each other, but few actually got to know each other.
Once, I rode with him to watch our high school team's basketball game.
When we arrived, he saw my white friends and said, "That's okay, you can go sit with them".
"Nah man", I replied, "C'mon.".
After that, he would play basketball with us during the last period of school (after our sports were over, we'd have free time to just mingle with the other sports).
To this day, to a man, they (my white friends) ask what (and how) he is doing.
One of these white guys is in trouble for alleged racial abuse in the Cathedral City police department. But he still asks about my boy.
You see, even though it wasn't his (my Black friend's) intention, the white guys built a level of respect for him.
Their exposure opened their eyes to more than one aspect of Black life.

But I've also been hated on by other Blacks.
One of my friends (Pierre) was set to be married.
When he asked his groomsmen whether I'd be in his wedding, one of the guys said that I wouldn't go to a Black wedding.
But I was friends with Pierre. We used to tutor elementary school kids together.
In the end, it was assumed that I didn't want to take part.
So I was often excluded from activities that other blacks thought that I thought I was too good for.
WTF?
But this takes place more often than one might think.
Some people just make assumptions.

But even when I was hated-on it seems that the Big Boys would always step in to keep me straight.
When I was in Hawaii, the Samoans, Tongans and Fijians wanted to jump me.
(They thought that I was too arrogant.)
Guys would come to my dorm to warn me of my pending (intended) butt whoopin'.
I was warned not to leave the campus.
But threats of being jumped were nothing new to me - they always ended up being nothing but talk.
I'd walk by the threatening groups and just wait for the action to start.
Mute (The HSIC - Head Samoan In Charge) came into the weight room one day - he gave me a pound and a hug and waved a finger at the rest of the Samoans.
That was that. No one went against Mute.
I received apologies from every group within the hour.
This cycle has been repeated from my childhood throughout my adult life from even the most unlikely of allies.
If some boys wanna' get me, even bigger and badder boys always make sure that I'm taken care of.
In Riverside - some Bloods and Crips keep me safe in certain areas, some Hispanic guys from Chicano Lords, Tiny Dukes or I.E. get my back in the barrio, and a group of Aryan Brotherhood guys from Yucaipa and some police officers (with whom I grew up) keep things straight with the whites.
I can't hate based on race, too many from different races have had my back.

But in stating my views of what is needed to "Uplift The Race" (as Spike Lee says), I'm just pointing out flawed thinking and actions that have failed us for too long.
Holding on to past baggage just weighs us down.
Dismissing reliable and worthy allies slows our progress.
Failing to adopt ideas that work stymies our evolution.
Calling something that is bad something good only lowers our standards and goals and then the final outcome.

While the roads we travel may be different - it's the final destination that matters.
My views are shaped by the fact that race wasn't (isn't) a major obstacle on the road I'm taking.
Your road my be littered with racial issues - I can understand that.
But if you're heading for destination "Y", chances are, you're not going my way and I can't really help you.

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