Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow

"Breathe, keep breathing
Don't lose your nerve
Breathe, keep breathing
I can't do this alone"
- Exit Music (For A Film) by Radiohead

My flatmate is waiting to be admitted to hospital for her ED and I'm not feeling too great about the whole thing... Lots of fucked up thoughts and memories and triggers that have come to the surface pretty much instantly that I just can't shake off, and I'm fucking trying to get rid of them with every trick in the book.

I should be stronger than this, better than this, above this, over this, unaffected... I should not be feeling or thinking half the shit that's going through my head right now, even if they're just thoughts, it's chaotic and distorted and just feels wrong and awful.

I'm fighting so hard to not let it break me, to stop thinking stupid fucked up crap, it's hard. It's so.fucking.hard!