She'd walk on broken glass for love

"Isn't it lovely, when the dawn brings the dew?

I'll be watching over you
Isn't it lovely, when the dawn brings the dew?
I'll be watching over you

Goodnight my sweetheart
Until we leave tonight
Hold me in your arms
Wish me some luck as you wave goodbye to me

You're the best friends I ever had
Goodnight, sleep tight
Goodnight, God bless
Goodnight, nos da
I'll try my best

Isn't it lovely, when the dawn brings the dew?
I'll be watching over you
Isn't it lovely, when the dawn brings the dew
I'll be watching over you

I will be waiting all my cares are for you
Dreams they leave and die
I'm just gonna close my eyes, think about my family
And shed a little tear

Goodnight, sleep tight
Goodnight, God bless
Goodnight, nos da,
I'll try my best

Isn't it lovely, when the dawn brings the dew?
I'll be watching over you
Isn't it lovely, when the dawn brings the dew?
I'll be watching over you

Leave me, go Jesus
I love you, yeah I love you
Just let me go
I even love the devil
For yes he did me harm
To keep me any longer
'Cos I'm really tired
I'd love to go to sleep and wake up happy
Yeah I'm really tired
I'd love to go to sleep and wake up happy,
Wake up happy."
- William's Last Words, Manic Street Preachers

Everything is going so badly wrong.

I feel like no-one is listening, or that they're ignoring me and thinking that I'm to blame for everything. I can't keep going on like this.

Today's appointment was a complete waste of time, all I get told is to 'find something to do over the summer'. The last couple of days I've felt so low and anxious, I've been binging for the first time in ages but it doesn't help, craving booze and that escape from everything, counting out pills although I know I won't OD, not now anyway... I still have the fucking urges there though.

Sleep isn't an escape because of the nightmares, when I'm awake or out and about I get white noise in my head like a detuned radio and I can't make out what it's saying but it feels like a threat.

I just want this to STOP.