Chuck Palahniuk quotes

"If I can't be beautiful I want to be invisible."

- Chuck Palahniuk

"We'll never be as young as we are tonight."

"Truth was, if you didn't chew her food, then her food chewed you."

"My life may be little and boring, but at least its mine--not some assembly line, secondhanded, hand-me-down life."

"The future you have tomorrow won't be the future you had yesterday."

"What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive right now? Clawing at the lid of her coffin."

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

"If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?"

"This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you their full attention. If this might be the last time they saw you, they really saw you… People listened instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. And when they spoke, they weren’t telling you a story. When the two of you talked, you were building something, and afterward you were both different than before."

"A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection."

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."

"Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers failed, what does that tell you about God?"

"Look up at the stars and you're gone. Not your luggage. Nothing matters. Not your bad breath. The windows are dark outside and the horns are blaring around you. The headlights are flashing high and low and high in your face, and you will never have to work again. You will never have to get another haircut."

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."

"I want to have your abortion."

"I just don't want to die without a few scars."

"You know that saying about how you always kill the one you love? It works both ways."

"If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?"

"You just had a near life experience."

"I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?" Why did I cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness? Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love? I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong. We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. And God says, "No, that's not right." Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything."

"I wanted to burn the Louvre. I'd do the Elgin Marbles with a sledgehammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now. This is my world, my world, and those ancient people are dead."

"When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?"

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."

"When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves."

"Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct."

"Beauty is power like money is power like a gun is power."

"Your heart is my pinata."

"Given the choice between grabbing a strange tongue and watching a monster poop into a giant snail shell, the face retreats and slams the door behind it."

"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."

"There are worst things you can do to the people you love than kill them. No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close."

"As soon as we become boring we die. Never ever become boring."

"And married people always think love is the answer."

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."

"This is the biggest mistake I could think would save me. I wanted to give up the idea I had any control. Shake things up. To be saved by chaos. To see if I could cope, I wanted to force myself to grow again. To explode my comfort zone."

"Today is the kind of day where the sun only comes up to humilate you."

"Reality means you live until you die...the real truth is nobody wants reality."

"The only difference between martyrdom and suicide really is press coverage."

"It's only in drugs or death that we experience anything new and death is just too controling."

"Everybody thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation."

"What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized yet."

"Since change is constant, you wonder if people crave death because it is the only way they can really get anything finished.~"

"The only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet that someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground."

"Right now, me getting killed would be redundant."

"The cultures that don't castrate you to make you a slave, they castrate your mind. They make sex so filthy and evil and dangerous that no matter how good you know it would feel to have sexual relations, you won't."

"The joke is, we all have the same punch line."

"Nothing is ever as good as you can imagine it."

"Just keep asking yourself: 'What would Jesus NOT do?'"

"Art never comes from happiness."

"'We don't live in the real world anymore,' she said. 'We live in a world of symbols.'"

"Until you find something to fight for, you settle for something to fight against."

"I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut-hosing orgasm."

"Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better."

"Maybe we don't go to hell for the things we do, maybe we go to hell for the things we don't do."

"There are no ghosts. When you die, you're dead. There's no afterlife. People who claim they can see ghosts are just looking for attention. People who believe in reincarnation are just postponing their lives."

"We are all haunted and haunting."

"The only biodeversity we're going to have left is Coke versus Pepsi."

"After long enough, everyone in the world will become your enemy."

"What you don't understand you can make mean anything."

"Just for the record, the weather today is bitter with occasional fits of jealous rage."

"Your handwriting, the way you walk. Which pattern you chose. It's all giving you away."

"Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self-portrait. Everything is a diary."

"Leonardo's Mona Lisa is just a thousand smears of paint. Michelangelo's David is just a million hits with a hammer. We're all of us a million bits put together the right way."

"A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat."

"Just for the record, she still loves you. She wouldn't bother to torture you if she didn't."

"We have no scar to show from happiness. We learn so little from peace."

"You can't unfuck a kid. Once you fuck a kid, you can't get that genie back in the bottle."

"It's been fourteen weeks since I had that head cold and you still have not kissed me."

"If you don't work, you don't sleep. Day and night, you're half awake, bored."

"You can spend your whole life building a wall of facts between you and anything real."

"If you love something set it free...but don't be surprised when it comes back with herpes."

"This is just what human beings do--turn objects into people, people into objects."

"If death meant leaving the stage long enough just to change costumes and become a new character, would you speed up? Or slow down?"

"That's the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell."

"Some stories, you use up. Others use you up."